August 29, 2011: Bangkok

Well, Wil and I left Chiang Mai on the 6pm tourist bus at about 8pm from a poorly-lit gas station on the outskirts of town. The bus was completely full of tourists: the ultrayoung gap-year crowd, a few dirty hippies, some old guys with Thai ladies, and us. The chatty Euro teens at the front of the bus were raging with hormones for the underdressed backpacker boys. After an hour or so, the driver turned off the lights and the bus quieted down.

It was a peaceful and quiet bus ride, except for the various police checkpoints that we passed in the night, for which the driver turned on the interior lights as brightly as possible.

At about 7 or 8 am, I awoke to find that the bus was stopped on the side of the road with everyone's massive backpacks on the sidewalk next to the bus. Our valiant driver was waiting behind the bus. Boo, mechanical breakdown. About half an hour later, five cheerful minibusses came to pick us up and take us the rest of the way to Khao San Road.

We rolled into Bangkok after two hours of rousing Issan love music. Unfortunately, we arrived during morning rush hour, and in our trek to the backpacker ghetto, we had a collision with someone else's minivan. Oh dear. A pack of very helpful policemen in very snugly-fitting uniforms came to our aid, and ten minutes later, we were on our way again.

After a safe arrival on Khao San Road, Wil and I found a lovely guesthouse with an Israeli attendant who had an unfortunate hairstyle of floor-length dreadlocks. After booking the cheap cheap room, we realized that there was a strong stench of urine wafting form the bathroom, and an odd bloodstain on the wall. Perhaps a giant mosquito.



Bangkok had been fairly low-key until last night, when we decided that we had seen enough temples, and wanted to get out for some drinks. Of course, we headed to Patpong; home of the ping-pong shows and a giant market of counterfeit handbags.

After an unfortunately large meal, we headed to the market and were soon accosted by a tout for the ping pong show. Of course, I agreed. We had read internet reviews of people getting ripped off at the shows for lady drinks, and I had been to one before where I ordered a 150 baht drink and was presented with a bill for 250 baht, then a menu with a 250 price. Of course, I was prepared.

We went upstairs to the sorriest looking dancers I had ever seen. The goodlooking ones were clothes, and the older, portly, obviously experienced ones were not. I will spare you the details.

We saw some other people try to leave and have arguments with the management, so I felt a bit prepared for what was to come. Three girls had come over to us with drinks, we had said no, and they left the half-drunk glasses on our table. When we approached the madam to pay our bill (200 baht for our two drinks), she showed us a bill for 3600. 3600 baht!!! 500 per person to see the show, two 300 baht drinks, and then four lady drinks at 500 a piece. I explained politely in Thai that we had drank TWO drinks at 100 baht each, and absolutely did NOT purchase any lady drinks. The woman seemed a bit surprised at my Thai, and agreed to discount the bill to 1600. I refused, she started to yell, I yelled back that I would call the police as the show was FREE, she told me to call them, I slapped down two 100 baht bills on the table, and we stomped out of there. Whew. Fantastic.



We left Bangkok the next day :)