Vietnam

Caution to family members: adult content follows.

Vietnam is seriously awesome... everyone was ridiculously nice to us!!! We went to Hoi An, where I had 10 pairs of shoes made, 8 blouses, 2 winter coats, a suit, a skirt, and trouser shorts. We met this sweet girl our age named Vy who owns a bookshop and took us out with her friends at night and had lunch with us during the day. She's adorable!

Our tailor:


We rented bicycles and bicycled to the beach where we saw fishermen in basket-boats.





THEN there was this little cafe where a cute guy (of course) worked, so we went a few times, and then the last time that we went, he came over to our table, sat down, and here is what happened:

Cute Boy: So... how long you stay in Hoi An?
Saara: we're leaving tomorrow
CB (to me): you like fucking with me?
K: Um, not right now, thank you
CB: but... you like to fucking with me???
K:Um, well, we're leaving tomorrow.

The CB goes to get some paper. He writes out "I like lick vagina". Shows me.

K: Oh, very nice.
S: Yeeeees, very nice.
CB: You would have a good time with me. I like lick vagina. I love you.
K: Oh, well, that's very nice to know, thank you. You're very nice.
CB: So, I come to your hotel?
K: Well, no, that's not a good idea. You're very nice, but we're leaving tomorrow, and I really can't do anything with you. Saara and I SHARE a room, you know.
Saara: Oh, I can use the Internet if you want to be alone in the room!
K: Good Lord.

This went on for a while until his mom got back to the restaraunt/cafe, and we could make a graceful exit.

Etc. Anyway, we went back to Vy and told her about the man, and she thought that it was funny, and I told her friend how cute he was before, and her friend went "Vietnamese men have very small banana. I think it is not good for you".

HAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA

Okay, so we left Hoi An and we had to buy new backpacks because all of our stuff wouldn't fit in the old one. We found giant knockoff North Face backpacks for 20 dollars... still, Saara needed a frontpack too!




We showed up at the You and Me Cafe in Hue, and I picked out a waiter... named Son. He came over and started chatting with me while Saara and Pekka (the Finnish guy) talked to each other (oddly enough, in ENGLISH). Son offered to draw me, so I said sure and he did. He's a painter who is going to university in Hue.

The owner of the cafe came over to show us the motorbike tours of the city and surrounding areas that the cafe offered, and pointed out the man who would be our driver. Mr. Trung was a very very friendly Vietnamese man who had a habit of winking at me and licking his lips. I really didn't want to be pressed against him on the back of the motorbike. I politely looked at the photos of the motorbike tours and read the testimonials in the little book. Around this time, a man named Mr. Loc came and sat at the table next to us and bought us drinks. He was harmless; a 60ish math teacher who wanted to practise his English with us. Mr Trung kept winking and licking from down the table.
Mr. Loc:




Son came over and said that he wanted to show me around the city, and did I want to go out with him that night at around 10? Of course, I agreed! Very cool! I agreed to come back at 10, but we ended up drinking with Mr. Loc until 10:30. Mr. Loc took our photo, professed his love for me in a whisper, and asked if I would take him back to my hotel. Mr. Trung winked. I left with Son. Pekka walked Saara home.

Son and I got on his motorbike, but as soon as we pulled out, Mr. Loc came out as well! A few seconds later, Mr. Trung pulled up next to us! My arms were around Son's waist, and he was holding my hand with one of his. Cheesy, I know. Everyone was drunk except Son (thank goodness). I was riding sidesaddle and my knees kept bumping against Mr. Loc's, who was demanding that I go home with him. Mr. Trung was on the other side. Eventually Mr. Loc gave up and Son, Mr. Trung and I headed to the Citadel.

We arrived at the Citadel, which is like a big castle with a wide moat around it and trees and bushes all over. Son, Mr. Trung, and I went off on a walkway next to the moat. On one side of us was the moat, on the other was evenly-spaced bushes, and then on the other side of THAT was the castle wall.

Son held one of my hands, and Mr. Trung held my other, and we walked next to the water, with the full moon shining down on us. Very romantic, apart from Mr. Trung whispering that he loved me.

Son said something to Mr. Trung, and Mr. Trung walked off... Son told me that Mr. Trung had to get something from the motorbikes. Son and I were by the moat, but then I heard a rustling in the bushes. I told Son, and he said it was dogs, so we didn't do anything. I was SURE that it wasn't dogs though! I opened my eyes, and it was Mr. Trung hiding and spying on us!!!!! After a second, I reaised that there was someone ELSE hiding in a closer bush spying on us too! What the hell was going on??????? I told Son and he seemed really suprised... we headed back to the motorbikes.

On the other side of the place that we parked, there was a path leading into complete darkness. Son and Mr. Trung each had one hand and tried to take me down the path to show me the "big tree". Euphamism??? I refused, they tried to convince me, I still refused. Son and I got on his motorbike and spent the next 40 minutes trying to lose Mr. Trung.




So that afternoon, Son was going to take me on a motorcycle ride to show me some sights... as a friendly gesture. As I was waiting downstairs for him in the early afternoon, the hotel man, Hien, came over and asked if I was waiting for anyone special. Saara told him that I was going on a motorcycle tour (to salvage my damaged reputation, I guess). Hien asked her where I had met my tour guide, and she said "he works at the You and Me Cafe".

Son came, I left, and we had the most amazing motorcycle tour EVER! Son showed me all of his favourite places, took me to some temples, out to some villages... it was so nice! At one temple, we sat under a tree by a lake and he wrote me a poem in Vietnamese. Le sigh. Son's boss kept calling him, but he didn't answer the phone (I guess he didn't want to get called in to work).

I spent the night at his place again. He kept saying "I love you, Kat... I love you Kat". In the morning we went to a cafe where all of the art students go to have Vietnamese coffee and once again, listen to French music (it's a theme).

When I got back to the hotel, holy CRAP. Saara didn't answer the door when I knocked, so I went downstairs to see if she was in the room or not. Hien said that she was there, but that she had had many phone calls last night. I went back up and called for her... she opened the door. It turned out that the hotel guy had CALLED the You and Me Cafe and TOLD THEM that one of their waiters was taking me on free motorbike tours AND spending illicit times with me!!! So Mr. TRUNG had been phoning SAARA asking her where Son had taken me!!!! Hien had called her TWICE to clarify that I was with Son, and she had said (again, I think to make me sound more virtuous) that he was my boyfriend. Hien could NOT believe that I had a boyfriend after 2 days!.

The rest of the day was spent dodging Mr. Trung and the hotel men. Son picked me up again in the evening, and we went to his friend's house. His friend's father was a famous Vietnamese artist and Son's professor at uni, and the son was Son's friend/classmate. So we went into this MANSION, and there was this gorgeous art allll over the place.

They all took my picture. It was fabulous. We listened to music and chilled out for a few hours, then drove around the city for a few hours. We met Mr. Bin and of course, MR. TRUNG, who STILL wanted me to know that he loved me, and that his motorcycle was very expensive. I told Mr. Trung that I was leaving the next day, but he didn't believe me. He asked me to bring more girls with me the next time I came to Vietnam.